Keiren K

Nine

I am Nine’s prisoner.

I absolutely refuse to believe that

I have freedom from his murky cell and ridiculous rules.

I am to believe that

Life can

Not solve anyone’s problems but

Self-destruction will.

I will tell my children in twenty years that

They are

Not the most important thing in my life.

Nine is.

My family will know that

I have boundaries because

Numbers

Are more important than

People

And

Love

And

Life.

This may hit you as a surprise, but

I own my life

Is a lie, because

Nine will crush me.

Nine has claimed me.

And it is impossible to believe that

My future has hope.

But I can change my world.

My future has hope.

And it is impossible to believe that

Nine has claimed me.

Nine has crushed me

Is a lie, because

I own my life.

This may hit you as a surprise, but

Life

And

Love

And

People

Are more important than

Numbers.

I have boundaries because

My family will know that

Nine is not the most important thing in my life.

They are.

I will tell my children in twenty years that

Self-destruction will

Not solve anyone’s problems, but

Life can.

I am to believe that

I have freedom from Nine’s murky cell and ridiculous rules.

I absolutely refuse to believe that

I am Nine’s prisoner.

 

~

 

When Dad Comes Home

When Dad comes home Mom yells to clean the kitchen
she knows and I know that we’ve both already cleaned the kitchen twice
but when Dad comes home
he’ll point out the face not shown on the wooden shine of our table
and he’ll take our hands and scrub for us with our tears
as we sit helpless on the kitchen floor

When Dad comes home Mom pushes me up the stairs
I got in trouble at school today and Dad received a call
She knows and I know that he will find us and he will scream
because when Dad comes home
he will break my heart piggy-bank I spent years sculpting and
make me swim in his mess until he is satisfied

When Dad comes home Mom rushes to grab my homework
I finished it early today just for when Dad comes home
Mom knows and I know that I worked my hardest
but when Dad comes home he will tear my homework
and he will hit me because 3 times 7 is 21 and not 28
and my best did not reach his standards quite yet

When Dad comes home Mom tells me to greet him at the door
Dad had a hard day at work and he needs comfort
but when Dad comes home he gives me a disgusted look
he tells me that I am nothing more than the bruise on my forehead
and nothing more than my wrong homework assignment
I tell Mom that Dad is a bully

Three years later when Dad comes home Mom isn’t there
Mom and Dad got divorced and Mom is three miles away
I hide upstairs in my room by myself and lock the door
I hope Dad is too tired to come upstairs and scream
but he comes up and calls me a pussy and throws me down the stairs
I tell myself that I am nothing more than the bruise on my arm

Yesterday Dad didn’t come home
He says he’s at work but I know where he really is
Dad has a new girlfriend and left me alone to get lucky
My hands stop trembling and my heart slows down
For once in my life I am not feeling scared
I feel free

~

Live

 

The bent trees…

Slowly swaying

In the wind.

Bent

And

Jagged

And

Curvy

Trees

Butterflies peacefully rest on.

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