Riley B


Here is how you make the perfect smoothie. You need a blender, obviously, as well as some fruit. The best place to find fruit is your local supermarket, so go there. While at the checkout, tell the cashier to give you all the money. Accidentally shoot him in the eye and proceed to run to your car. Realize you forgot the fruit and the cash. Grab the items and rush back to your car only to realize it is on fire.

Thank God for you not being in there. With your newfound feeling of luck, rush the other direction only to be hit by a car. Get up only to realize the driver is your twin. Remember that you don’t have a twin just like there is no car.

Now run to your house with the fruits only to be greeted by your wife. Proceed to make out with your wife before remembering she was eaten by a shark not too long ago. Realize you just kissed your reflection in the mirror. Break said mirror out of rage before remembering that a mirror is made of glass, and glass hurts. Look for some bandages for your bloody hand before recalling that you lost one of your hands at a sawmill because your friend thought, “This will be a great prank.” Cry at the realization that mirror breaking is bad, and you should know because your father broke a mirror only to fall out of a building. Realize that he didn’t break a mirror; he broke a window.

Remember that you have yet to make the smoothie. Rush over and chuck your fruit into the blender. Recall the blender must be plugged in before it can work. Stick the plug into the outlet. Realize that you are not holding the plug, you are holding a fork. Stop getting electrocuted and plug the blender in. Shred up the fruit only to realize that the face of a traitor is now inside your blender. Recall Benjamin Franklin is not a traitor. Remember that Benjamin Franklin is the face of the hundred dollar bill. Realize you just shredded all your money.

Notice that it has begun to rain. Recall that you should be protected by your roof.

Go over to pick up the fruit. Realize you have no fruit.

Panic and rush over to pick up your blender so you can get out of there.



Realize you have no blender.



To each his own

And to everyone who can reach

The pioneer of the species

And not the leech

To the inventor

The artist

For whom I beseech

To each his own

And to everyone who can reach


Six Word Statements


A world without fear…lacks improvement.


Where is the brother of light?


Where do we go from here?


There are no tears…only dreams.


Do you fear truth? You will.


Bottles flying. People lying. Drunks dying.


Patheticness is a trait of liars.


All are equal when in death.


Laughing, Chatting, Dancing, Drinking, Running, Living…


An elevator with no one…moves.


A mask for pain is happiness.


Happiness is an art I’ve mastered.


Wouldn’t know what I haven’t felt.


Courtrooms. Truthful Place. Creators of Justice.


Memories are pictures of years past


Good times never leave good people.


Joy and Peace synergize into euphoria.


The end will signify the beginning.



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